Growing up, my dad’s cousin, his wife and their daughter were the only family we had in Canberra. We only caught up with them once or twice a year, typically at a restaurant for Chinese New Year. I cherished those occasions﹣and not only because they were bookended by two of my favourite pancakes, commencing with Peking duck pancakes and concluding with red bean paste pancakes. … Continue reading Miscellaneous shades of grief
Safe enough to thrive I read Greta Thunberg’s UN address today and I’m glad I was looking at the transcript rather than the video. The words alone, sans any added emotion in her delivery, were jarring enough. Sure, it was designed to be a slap in the face to dawdling political leaders. But while I agree we need to take stronger action to counter climate … Continue reading Angry enough to be free, safe enough to thrive
Embers eternal but we’re a ways from raging with the fire Roll another one and take me back to other alleys, streets more lit other lives more lived, more alive when I soaked myself in rum-laced coke with lime, for you a line and we laughed oh the laughter it was intoxicating, wicked so fleeting yet so divine For the post-sober night prolongs your smile … Continue reading Embers eternal
I love sport both on an emotional and a philosophical level.
Here’s why.
I love the contradictions in sport. I love how it is rational yet irrational, meaningless yet so imbued with significance, universal yet elite, aggressive and divisive yet a unifying force. Continue reading Any sport will do: absurd but awesome
You’ve been feeling jetlagged this last week although you never left the state, let alone the time zone. Sometimes the world and your past come to you. Continue reading A cure for emotional jetlag
I didn’t think much of the earthquake, to be honest. And I’m going to be very honest about this. The first time I experienced a tremor, I was sitting in my upstairs room in a rural village in the Ecuadorian sierra. It was kinda cool – cool enough to write home and tell people I’d just been in an earthquake. But it was also disappointing because I … Continue reading Just another earthquake?
The opposite of vertigo
Is your wings poised for flight
and your feet stuck in cement;
Is the skyward pull that makes
you ill to be on the ground.
Gravity versus your dreams.
The opposite of vertigo
Is conversations about the weather
and getting angry at traffic;
Is display windows taunting you
with things that won’t make you happy.
You can see right through them.
From the pit of your stomach
to the tip of your tongue
the air here’s thick,
swallows up inspiration.
The opposite of vertigo
Is the sickening sensation of settling;
Is being shackled when you should be airborne.
The opposite of vertigo
Is the curse of those who come down from altitude;
Is the Icarus in you and me. Continue reading The opposite of vertigo
October 3 She is lovely. Creamy vintage lace, delicate buttons all down her back, descending into a sweeping fishtail. I fumble through the chapel, out of time with the music, but whatever. She floats down the aisle after me. Dad is smart in his officer’s white dress suit although he only reluctantly links arms with her. The day is lovely. Agreeable sun, genuine smiles. People we haven’t seen in years. A photo here, … Continue reading Reconfiguring Home: Weddings and Earthquakes
One month from today I say goodbye to La Paz and Bolivia. And I’m feeling pretty good about it; I’m ready to go home. Bolivia: please take this as a compliment. “Seeya” with a smile? In the last week or so people have started registering that I am going away “soon”; I’m beginning to get questions about what I want to do before and what my plans … Continue reading What makes a goodbye good?
I.
It was perfect in a bittersweet way
The overcast day
The fresh flowers
The waiting
The shades of black and grey
The Padre Nuestro
The father’s chanting
II.
They ushered him through a maze
of flagstones well-polished by the varnish of water
and the heavy footsteps of generations of mourners.
For fifty pesos a stranger sang
as we showered him with rose petals and rain.
Amidst her wailing and her brothers’ silent despair
and the cement mixed and laid thick to immortalise him,
the sky stops crying and its blue eyes blink
and I, for a moment, stare into eternity,
into sorrow, into loss, into hope.
Avenues upon avenues of memories
in this city of the departed;
yards and yards of carnations
doing their best to defy time –
but who can resist?
Grief made her embrace linger, made us angels
without wings, and stranded on earth,
but angels nonetheless.
III.
Another Padre Nuestro
Another sigh
Another moment without him
The first of too many. Continue reading Victor
⎯suansita⎯ 