Three transformative perspectives on hospitality

I’ve always admired people who can host a good dinner party. I’m in awe of their ability to cook in bulk, and to do so while unflusteredly mingling with guests. I like having people over, but need to keep it casual and either order food in or have everyone bring a plate. So I certainly consider hospitality to be a gift, inasmuch as it’s the … Continue reading Three transformative perspectives on hospitality

Memories of my grandmother

The grandmother: revered There is something about grandmothers that verges on the folkloric. I recently read this article titled “The Sacred Wisdom of our Abuelas“ and it’s not the first time I’ve heard how a person’s grandma inspires them. My husband and my most recent housemate both speak with deep love and admiration for their grandmothers, particularly the paternal ones. It occurred to me that … Continue reading Memories of my grandmother

Hula hoops, goannas and the games we play

Here’s a confession: I can’t make eye contact with good-looking strangers. Once we’re in a conversation I’m totally fine, but once I’ve assessed that you’re a hottie I will try pretty hard not to look at you at all.

Just because you’re handsome doesn’t mean I want you, okay?

Dating and attraction is such a game – and a messy one at that. Valentine’s Day and what you do or don’t do is just an annual component of this game. Continue reading Hula hoops, goannas and the games we play

Love and ashes

Happy Valentine’s Day! Happy Ash Wednesday! Not since 1945 have both occasions fallen on the same day. And not since ever have I cared much for either. Guess I’m just a little jaded. Today, couples make very visible shows of their affection for each other. And florists and restaurants make a killing. Today, the faithful step out of Mass with a dusty cross brushed onto their … Continue reading Love and ashes

My love-hate relationship with reality TV and the concept of marriage

Commercial TV is an evil genius. I don’t watch much of it these days, but somehow I got suckered into Married At First Sight. It’s just, y’know, I’m making dinner and my housemate likes to unwind in front of the box. So there I am, innocently frying my fish when she begins hooting with laughter. So I get drawn away from the stove (I am a walking fire hazard) and find it’s that show the boys were talking about the other day. The one I made fun of them about.

When they refer to the battle for the watercooler, this is exactly what they’re on about. Commercial TV has perfected the art of balancing the ridiculous and the relatable, the beautiful and the ugly, attraction and revulsion, to create programs like this. Shows you love to hate on and hate yourself for loving. Shows you can’t help but talk about.

Like I’m doing right now, on the night of Valentine’s Day, incidentally. Continue reading My love-hate relationship with reality TV and the concept of marriage

Why finding a house is like finding a husband

It was my cousin’s wife who said it: Finding a house is like finding a partner. You see a few and then you just make a decision. I laughed and could see the sense in it. But thinking it through, there really are some uncanny parallels. House-hunting is a lot like dating. I write often about the idea of Home, and how living abroad complicates that. I’ll … Continue reading Why finding a house is like finding a husband

Questions about relationships

Three thoughts chewed over with friends in the last month or so: Religion is a relationship: it’s not really about exactly what you do, but the relationship that those acts and activities somehow sustain and develop. Am I great company but a terrible friend? And what would make me a better friend? Why do we still have reservations about online dating? Given how technology has changed every other way … Continue reading Questions about relationships