Embers eternal but we’re a ways

from raging with the fire

Roll another one and take me back

to other alleys, streets more lit

other lives more lived, more alive

when I soaked myself in rum-laced coke

with lime, for you a line

and we laughed

oh the laughter

it was intoxicating, wicked

so fleeting yet so divine

For the post-sober night prolongs your smile

it brandishes an afterglow

I’ve learned to catch

with the corner of my eye

Winning when I’m losing

myself, losing myself – for what?

It’s all sparks, this

like a puff of your breath on a winter’s morning

Sparks, this

kindling that comes to nothing

nothing but the heat from your cigarette lighter

rubbing up against my calloused thumb

Sparks, this

evaporating into emptiness

Y’know it’s electric at the edge

of the void, the adrenaline

that surges at the mere

thought of falling

falling

Could you?

Could you capture all my dreaming

my longing to be consumed?

I’m dry until I’m swept away

I’m free when I am lost in you

If I close my eyes hard enough

could you pressure my heart till it buckles?

Till you drench me

douse me?

Till you undo me

undress me?

I (sigh)

Just (must)

Feel (real)

Something (anything)

Even pain validates the breath in me

Breath and beat

in, boom

out, boom

in, out

boom, boom

this rhythm I cannot control

this music that writes me

into here

and

now.

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Header image: Swaraj Tiwari.