Victor

I.

It was perfect in a bittersweet way

The overcast day
The fresh flowers
The waiting

The shades of black and grey
The Padre Nuestro
The father’s chanting

II.

They ushered him through a maze
of flagstones well-polished by the varnish of water
and the heavy footsteps of generations of mourners.
For fifty pesos a stranger sang
as we showered him with rose petals and rain.

Amidst her wailing and her brothers’ silent despair
and the cement mixed and laid thick to immortalise him,
the sky stops crying and its blue eyes blink
and I, for a moment, stare into eternity,
into sorrow, into loss, into hope.

Avenues upon avenues of memories
in this city of the departed;
yards and yards of carnations
doing their best to defy time –
but who can resist?

Grief made her embrace linger, made us angels
without wings, and stranded on earth,
but angels nonetheless.

III.

Another Padre Nuestro
Another sigh
Another moment without him

The first of too many. Continue reading Victor

Okay, you’ve put me in a box

Since I was a teenager, I’ve wrestled with the complicated truth that when you try to be different and stand out from the crowd, you invariably end up being like everybody else who wants to be different and stand out from the crowd. A few articles I’ve stumbled across lately have reminded me of this. The first two follow a currently trendy blog style (“Don’t … Continue reading Okay, you’ve put me in a box

two reflections on being home again

Canberra, my love Today you are stunning warm even when you’re cold cool even with your sunny disposition and I get lost in your blue sky searching for the me in you and the you that’s reflected somewhere in my heart but I think it is buried deep and yet however far beneath the surface you lie, motionless, asleep even if I were blindfolded I’d … Continue reading two reflections on being home again

distilling melancholy

Came back to Loja from Quito the day after New Year’s, strangely heavy with melancholy. Similar sensation to coming back to an empty house after touring South America with my sister – though there was no reason that should’ve been the case. Couldn’t quite figure it out, couldn’t quite get to the heart of it, even praying over it. Then last night, an unexpected visit … Continue reading distilling melancholy

Singin’

Been unexpectedly immersing myself in music a lot more the last few months. Back home I enjoyed music, I played guitar sporadically and sang for fun, but never at church or anywhere else public; composed occasionally. But I’ve been surprised by how much music has become more a part of my life than before. Think it’s partly being around JN and JA, because they’re both … Continue reading Singin’