I spent the other night watching movies with M and C. Last Night (starring Keira Knightley, Sam Worthington, Eva Mendes and Guillaume Canet) proved to be incredibly thought-provoking.
The premise is simple: young married couple, wife sees chemistry between her husband and his co-worker and gets jealous, then the film centres on what happens the following day when he and his colleague are out of town together for work, and her ex-lover suddenly comes to town to see her.
It brings up a lot of meaty issues about trust and infidelity. What does trust between husband and wife look like? What constitutes infidelity – is it emotional as well as physical and at what point does temptation become infidelity? We spent ages talking over who was most to blame, if one or another character had good reason for the way they behaved. Whether we would expect our husbands to tell us when they are attracted to other women or if it’s better not to know. And what WE would have done in the same situation – how far we would have gone if we’d been in the wife’s position.
The three of us are single, Christian women. We realised how much that affects our answer to all of those questions.
J arrived part-way through and didn’t watch the whole movie, but it was interesting exchanging opinions with him as well. I made the comment that I understood my relationships with my guy friends would change if and when I get married. He asked how and why. I told him there are personal things I can share with my guy friends now – basically I don’t really have any of my own secrets and I can generally talk to anyone about anything if it doesn’t compromise anybody else. And there is a certain degree of physicality that I am comfortable with now, but if I were married I would no longer be completely my own person – both physically and emotionally.
I am not convinced my position is necessarily ideal. In particular, I wonder whether physical behaviour which wouldn’t be acceptable for me as a married woman can be acceptable for me as a single one. I wonder about the things which have made them morally acceptable to me.
Like I said, a movie that made me think.