In my last email update I mentioned that one of the things I need prayer for particularly at the moment is concentration in prayer. One of the responses I got to that was a suggestion to write/type out prayers, which is a cool idea, and one which I’ve done only very occasionally.
What that made me think of was a letter I wrote to God a couple of years ago (19 July 2009). It is kind of overdramatic – in a way which is totally incongruous with how I am in person – but I do that when I write poetry because certain ways of phrasing things capture the moment and the thought more accurately.
Anyway, I’ve decided to reproduce it here because re-reading it made me realise that it contains some of the motivation and revelation that led me on this mission path. [Letter to you]
It’s funny. Last night I looked over some of my journal entries from 2009, and was a little taken aback by how intense some of it was. I remember that year (my honours year) as being pretty chilled, one that I remember fondly. Somehow I’ve forgotten how exacting it was spiritually; but struggling through that made me more desperate for God and I see now that He was then able to build me up and bring me to the solid place that I am now 🙂 In fact, it was in February that year that I wrote that mission, for the first time, had become a real possibility for me.